THE MULTIPLE TIMES MY PARENTS HAD TO PUT UP WITH MY SHIT
This list excludes the subsequent ass whoopins I received
- •When I was 6 or 7, I thought it'd be cute to call the cops in the midst of no emergencyUpon the return call (cause my ass surely didn't know that happened), I excused myself to my bedroom awaiting my inevitable punishment
- •When I threw a plastic water bottle at my sister so hard she bledAnd that other time I threw a comb at her eye. Little sisters reign.
- •When I got a splinter deeply embedded in my fingernail after chasing my sister upstairs post-breakfastThe remainder of the morning was spent in a dentist office as my uncle removed it with DENTAL tools (my mom wasn't fuckin with medical expenses 😂)
- •At 16, when my mom was forced to drive my unlicensed ass to a date with the boy at the time I thought to be "the one"Only for this nigga not to show up after spending an hour eating cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster (this could be a whole list in itself)
- •When a certain black fraternity was having their centennial celebration in my hometown and we spent all night out, ended up in a grown man's hotel room, and didn't make it home til 6 AMWe told them we were at Steak 'n Shake all night with my friend's cousin. That was a lie. And I'm sure they knew that.
- •When I big chopped my full head of hair and hid it from them until my mother made a unplanned visitDon't regret this one. Blame @aprilkquioh
- •When I chose a university that cost upwards of $60k a yearEsp when I had full ride offers from 2-3 colleges. Shouts to them 😘😘