Requested by Rusty

AWKWARD THINGS THAT HAPPENED AT WORK WHILE INSPECTING THE FEMALE ANATOMY

Thanks @reconditioner for the request. Not so much awkward when it comes to the female patients as it is gross.
  1. I almost passed out from the smell of a patient's vaginal odor (first time).
    I had a patient in the ER with a deadly infection that didn't have a clear source. After looking everywhere, I found the source. It was a tampon that had been in her vagina for three weeks, forgotten.
  2. I almost passed out from the smell of a patient's vaginal odor (second time).
    She had a raging vaginal infection (she tested positive for gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichomonas, and bacterial vaginosis). While I was becoming teary-eyed from repressing a strong urge to vomit, the patient asked me if I was okay because I looked pale. "Mmmhmm," I said, trying to keep my mouth closed.
  3. I almost passed out from the smell of a patient's vaginal odor (third time).
    I never identified a cause, despite extensive testing. She just had a smelly odor (side note: a lot of women stress about their smell, but I almost never can smell what they're so concerned about). She came in because her boyfriend didn't want to go down on her because of the smell and she said she didn't think she stank. I gagged and dry heaved through the exam - no amount of will power allowed me to overcome the nausea.
  4. I dodged a ball of gonorrhea laden discharge that flew at me.
    This has only happened once (THANK GOD). I was inserting a speculum in a patient's vagina to evaluate her complaint of vaginal discharge. The patient coughed right as I opened the speculum and a wad of yellowish discharge flew out at me and grazed my head. I still don't get how this happened. This encounter ended with me gagging/dry heaving and maybe crying.
  5. I was showered in amniotic fluid.
    This has happened too many times to count and is a known risk with delivering babies. This often occurs when there's a ton of amniotic fluid behind the baby and it gushes out right after the baby is born.
  6. One of my patients dyed her gigantic 70s bush like a rainbow. She was a very clean-cut local business owner.
    I have never been able to look at a clown the same way again.
  7. Update:
    I am currently nauseated, lying in a dark room -- I blame writing this list. 😲