CRAZY THINGS MY PATIENTS HAVE SAID
"I'm sorry, what?!" Or... Trying really hard to not react like you just said something crazy to your doctor. List requested by @mlh
- •While knuckle deep during a rectal exam on an 85-year-old dude: "you know, this is the closest two people could come without having sex with each other"No you didn't just go there. I was already gagging because your poop is on my finger (please reference previous list entitled, "I MAY BE A DOCTOR, BUT... I MAY BE A DOCTOR, BUT... )
- •I'm allergic to everything except D... d.. Something with a "d." Dilaudid!
- •Vicodin helps with my seizures
- •Are you old enough to be my doctor?
- •Can you be my nurse every day?
- •I can't take Tylenol. It makes me CRAZY.
- •I don't know why but I feel all mixed up.Patient who recently had her tubes tied....
- •Hi there, Dr. Cutie pie!Said by a 4-year-old boy with some serious game
- •SIDENOTE: fellow docs & healthcare providers please feel free to contribute to this post via suggestions below.