FEARS I HAVE ABOUT GETTING OLDER

  1. 1.
    Feeling overwhelmed with technology
    Like how old people can't figure out "the Twitter;" I am combating this by staying active in social media and trying to stay up to date w/ new gadgets
  2. 2.
    My parents dying.
    I sometimes cry at just the thought. I look at people who have lost a parent and just don't understand how they move on.
  3. 3.
    Regrets about children
    I don't have any and I don't know if I ever will. But I worry about it both ways; if I have kids, will I regret sacrificing other things in my life? If I don't or can't have them, will I regret not having them sooner or at all?
  4. 4.
    Cancer
    Did you know the lifetime risk of developing some form of cancer (deadly or not) is 1 in 2 for males, and 1 in 3 for females? Excuse me while I momentarily freak out over every bump and mole on my body.
  5. 5.
    Joint pains
    I'm 29 and just found out that the weird pains I've been having in my knees, feet and shoulder are arthritis. I'm starting a strict trial of an anti-inflammatory diet to see if it slows things down. I'm already at a healthy weight and exercise regularly. If this continues, what if I am falling apart at 50?
  6. 6.
    Wrinkles
    I've noticed smile lines and the beginnings of crow's feet 😨 they've improved a little with drinking 1-2 L water a day and getting more sleep (thanks to residency being over).
  7. 7.
    Varicose veins
    I spend way too much time standing at work, and running around. I keep telling myself I should start wearing compression socks but haven't started yet. It's too hot in Hawaii for that shit.
  8. 8.
    Needing to take multiple medications
    Right now I use RetinA for acne (and off label for wrinkle prevention 😉), Allegra, Nasonex, azelastine and occasionally Afrin and Benadryl (because I have the worst allergies on the planet). But technically I don't NEED any of these. I'm talking about medications to reduce the risk of my death. Like cholesterol, diabetes and blood pressure medicines.
  9. 9.
    Being incontinent
    Like what if I pee or poop myself and have to have someone help me? I feel so badly for my patients with this problem. I know they're mortified.
  10. 10.
    Lack of a legacy
    I feel this intense pressure to leave a big mark on the world; we all leave *a* mark, but I've felt for the last 15 years like I've been on the brink of some huge potential personal success (outside of my current job; preferably in a creative space) but just haven't quite gotten there yet.
  11. 11.
    Not talking to my family enough.
    We are spread out so far across the country that the last time we were all together was almost 4 years ago for my wedding. Because of all the time zone differences and everyone's crazy work schedules, talking on the phone is difficult to coordinate and doesn't happen very often.
  12. 12.
    Being stuck in my ways
    I want to be a forward thinking, progressive, cool old lady. I hope I'm not a curmudgeon who can't adapt to the changing tides.
  13. 13.
    Being poor
    Who wants to be hustling when they're old? And I've already experienced being poor. I never want to go back to it. Especially not with all the vulnerabilities that come with old age.
  14. 14.
    Being alone
    I told my husband he is not allowed to die first. We got in an argument about how each of us wanted to be the person who died first for the selfish reason of not wanting to be left without the other. This was infuriating, sad and romantic at the same time.