HOW YOU KNOW YOU'RE A KID VS. AN ADULT

  1. You get excited when you get mail because it's good stuff
    Birthday cards, cool catalogs, junk mail from your dream college that you use to delude yourself into thinking they have their eye on you. You are a kid.
  2. You hate checking the mail because it's full of bad stuff
    ...and you put off checking it for as long as possible, sometimes until Terri (the USPS mail carrier) rings your intercom and begs you to empty your mailbox so she can add the newest stack of mail (bills, tax notices, social security statements that show how little you've earned for working yourself nearly to the bone). Congratulations, you have reached adulthood.