PICKUP LINES I HEARD THIS WEEK

I am active duty and work in a military hospital. I'm married, turning 30, and apparently still got it. I'm definitely keeping the eyebrow lady (list: WEIRDEST SALON EXPERIENCE EVER) and my new Clarisonic brush. 💃🏽
  1. Another doctor: Where do I know you from? / Me: I don't know... This hospital? / Him: No, I don't think so... Have we hung out before? Me: I don't think so... / Him: Well we should.
    All I wanted as a Coke Zero from this vending machine.
  2. Patient: Sometimes I feel like my heart skips a beat. / Me: really? When did it start? / Him: When you walked in.
    Damn, my patient has game.
  3. New patient, pointing to my wedding & engagement rings, incredulously: YOU'RE ENGAGED? / Me: ...I'm married. / Patient: SINCE WHEN?! / Me: 2012? / Patient: So do I still have a chance?
    Good try, private.