THINGS I DON'T MISS ABOUT RESIDENCY

  1. Peeing once or twice a day
    Now peeing once every 1-2 hours... Ahhh hydration
  2. Skipping meals
    It definitely made it hard to gain weight though.
  3. Not being able to put your foot down with unruly patients because your program director would somehow get a complaint about you that you then had to spend hours explaining and of course it turns out you never did anything wrong...
  4. Holding your pee all day because you literally cannot find time to relieve yourself
  5. Carrying four pagers
    And all of them beeping nonstop
  6. 24 hour call shifts which somehow always turned into 28 hour shifts
  7. Never knowing if your body was on nights or days
  8. Falling asleep everywhere
    At concerts, at the movies, at your friend's house, at dinner, not exercising
  9. Getting paged at 11pm because a patient's family "wants to speak to the doctor."
    Every night shift on the most needy (but least ill) patients with colorful personality disorders and even more colorful families, without fail
  10. Post-call clinic
  11. Trying to stay awake after night shift to get things done during normal business hours, but failing
    On the rare occasion you didn't fail, you regretted it when 8 hours later you had to be back at work and hadn't slept
  12. Being told by anyone who disagrees with anything you say that they "want to speak to your attending."
  13. Getting pimped