THINGS THAT HAPPEN WHEN THE PRESIDENT SPENDS CHRISTMAS IN YOUR SMALL BEACH TOWN
Welcome to Kailua in December; this is my fourth Christmas here so we've gotten pretty used to the hullabaloo.
- •Japanese tourists flock to town more than usual and take to the streets on beach cruisersA tourist told me Kailua is advertised as "Obama's town."
- •You have to wait in line behind like 50 really clean-cut, chiseled and muscular dudes with ear pieces for your coffee at your local shop.Aloha federal agents 😍 Meanwhile the not so secret service guys all look like Agent Smith from The Matrix
- •You get stuck in traffic because the roads go through mountains and they shut everything down to let the presidential motorcade through.Security risk. Gotta protect the prez.
- •Part of our local beach gets shut downGotta limit beach/water access to the presidential vacation home. Again, security reasons. Luckily the beach is humongous and there's still plenty of room for everyone.
- •More hot, shirtless guys at the beach than usualOh hello, again, federal agents. 🙋
- •I change my run routeSo I don't run into the neighborhood he's staying in and get stopped by federal agents..
- •Pray that the White House picks me to augment their medical crew (they select from active duty docs at the hospital I work at).😩🙏🏼
- •Run into the first family getting some shave ice at Island Snow, our local favorite.So ono. 🍧 What's up Sasha and Malia?
- •If you're lucky, you get gifted the President's signature Hershey Kisses.I'm going to go Ms. Havisham on these.