I decided to try a new place to get my brows threaded in Honolulu. This place shall remain unnamed, but let's just say it's a little ritzy and I felt like I was about to get ripped off, but I didn't care because I've had my brows fucked up too many times on this island. I miss Julie, the girl who did my brows in Jersey City. She was awesome.
  1. I show up at 3pm hoping there's an opening and walk into the reception/waiting area.
  2. There's music playing, but no one at the desk or in the waiting area.
  3. A minute goes by.
  4. Maybe they went to the bathroom...
  5. Another minute goes by.. I get up and move around to the side of the desk thinking maybe there's someone down the hall who will see me.
  6. I see someone's foot down the hallway and hear them booking a client on the phone. Not sure why they're not up front. Okay. Whatever..
  7. Two more customers come in.
  8. They're both looking at me for answers.
  9. I shrug.
  10. Five minutes go by.
  11. A guy behind me asks how long I've been waiting.
  12. "A minute longer than you," I say.
  13. He says "Oh" and looks relieved.
    I'm not sure why; he's more patient than me I guess. At this point I'm about ready to just leave.
  14. Finally the chick on the phone hangs up and comes out.
  15. She smiles and says something but I can't hear her because she's like the silent girl from Pitch Perfect who only has a voice when she sings, except this chick ain't singing.
  16. She has an entire line of clients waiting and just keeps smiling.
  17. So I say, "hi" and ask to book an appointment. There's availability in 15 min. Sweet.
  18. I sit in the waiting area. The other clients get taken back first for their appointments.
  19. Then the chick comes up and says, "I'm going to lock the door," with a creepy smile on her face.
  20. There's an approx 12-year-old girl in the waiting room with me with her Beats headphones on, clueless. I look at her like, "why aren't you reacting to this crazy ass chick locking us in??"
    FML she's 12 and she's clueless. Whatever.
  21. The 12-year-old realizes (finally) what's happening and asks to step out because she has to pee.
  22. The lady let's her out and then locks the door. She looks at me whispers, with a huge smile, "Just come knock on my door if there's a fire or something and you need to step out!" She quickly walks away and disappears.
    I don't know where her "door" is! Now I'm freaking out. What if this is how they trap people into a life of sex slavery? Or if there's some creepy psychopath in the back that waxes people and then chops them up? I should've left with the 12-year-old! The room suddenly feels tiny and I feel claustrophobic. The sun steaming in is causing a greenhouse effect and the air feels thick and my heart starts racing. I feel the beginnings of a panic attack. The 12-year-old was smarter than me. Shitshitshit
  23. I try to distract myself by doing some deep breathing and reading some lists but eventually the 12-year-old girl comes back.
  24. She's knocking on the glass.
  25. I don't really know what to do so I avoid eye contact for a minute like a total weirdo.
  26. But her knocking gets more and more desperate.
  27. I hear her jiggling the door handle.
  28. So I go over to the door and see if I can open it from the inside.
    I yanked on the handle. Nope. Locked in.
  29. A second wave of "WTFs" almost rolls off my tongue but she's 12.
  30. She looks exasperated. She mouths (the door is almost soundproof) and asks me why the door is locked.
  31. I throw my hands in the air and mouth, "I don't know."
  32. I'm not sure what to do.
  33. We both stare at each other like hopeless idiots. We start pulling on the door handle again, willing it to open.
    I don't know why we did this. It was obviously locked.
  34. Then I almost make this face IRL: 😩 but I decide not to since I'm an adult and need to not freak out in front of a 12-year-old.
  35. After what feels like eternity, my aesthetician comes out asking for me and looks appalled as she catches us both yanking the handle.
  36. She looks horrified.
  37. "Is the door locked?!," she asks. "Where's the key???"
    Why the fuck should I know where the key is, lady??
  38. I dumbly say, "the other chick.. She took it.. She said if there was a fire to come get her.." I smile. It was a really fake smile.
  39. Shit, I was trying to be funny, I hope I didn't get her fired, but whatever -- this was the weirdest thing I ever experienced at a place of business.
  40. She runs away, comes back with the key, and let's in the now sweaty 12-year-old girl, who looks totally weirded out and is now avoiding eye contact with me, so I feel even weirder.
  41. This lady apologizes profusely. She then LOCKS THE DOOR AGAIN and takes me back to my treatment area.
    What kind of weird, unconventional business model is this??
  42. The 12-year-old gives me a quick pleading look like, "don't leave me in this crazy place by myself!!"
  43. But I'm like, "sorry girl, it's BJ time."
    BJ = brow job, get your mind out of the gutter. And no I didn't say BJ out loud. She's a 12-year-old for Christ's sake.
  44. She does a number on my brows.
  45. They look amazing.
  46. Seriously. Best BJ I've had in 4 years.
  47. I'm definitely coming back.
  48. Hopefully next time I'm not the sweaty person begging to be let in.
  49. And let's pray there's never a fire there.