MY WORST FEAR AT EVERY AGE STARTING IN 1997

  1. Five: a lady who had hair like DeeDee Pickles in Rugrats who I once dreamed climbed through my bedroom window.
  2. Six: the dog from The Sandlot
    I was an easily frightened child apparently
  3. Seven: tamagotchi death
  4. Eight: losing my rank on the high score list of Word Munchers
  5. Nine: self aware robots, rising sea levels, Haley Joel Osment
    My dad took me to see A.I.: Artificial Intelligence and it deeply disturbed me. Still not over it honestly.
  6. Ten: anything or anyone that posed a threat to my gel pen collection
  7. Eleven: losing my retainer
  8. Twelve: that my crush wouldn't see my AIM message and therefore wouldn't know how ~cOoL~ I am
  9. Thirteen: that my VHS wasn't recording while I was at soccer practice and I wouldn't know what happened on that week's episode of the OC
    Are Seth and Summer getting back together???!
  10. Fourteen: that I would never grow boobs
  11. Fifteen: that my parents wouldn't let me go to some party or concert or something thereby ruining my social life forever ALSO toxic shock syndrome
  12. Sixteen: dropping and breaking my Sephora 74 color eyeshadow palette
    It happened
  13. Seventeen: SAT failure
  14. Eighteen: freshman 15
  15. Nineteen: getting my fake ID taken away
  16. Twenty: my mom discovering the tattoo behind my ear
  17. Twenty one: that my 12 year old Subaru would break down on i-25
  18. Twenty two: that I would not find a job and would fail at living in New York City
  19. Twenty three: that the L train gets stuck under the East River during rush hour and I die of claustrophobia or get trampled to death
    I have many other related fears I could tell you about. Perhaps next list.
  20. Constant fears: primates, carbon monoxide death, the thing that they do to Han Solo with the cement or whatever