CELEBRITIES I HAVE SEEN IN THE WILD

I've lived in nyc since 2002, I've seen a few things ...here are some of them.
  1. Mary-Kate Olsen at a midnight showing of Shark Tale
    She wore pj pants and ate a giant thing of popcorn because she's awesome like that
  2. Elijah Wood entering Cafe Gitane while I tried to exit
    His eyes are HUGE they looked directly into my soul I think. Also we were basically eye level, and I'm 5 foot 2
  3. Ethan Hawke walking with a man posse
    It was like a hipster/scruffy-mountain-men version of entourage
  4. Maggie Gyllenhaal buying a large stack of books at Barnes and Noble
    When I told my friend he responded, "yeah that family is known for reading." ... Really?! Really, are they? Is THAT what they're known for??
  5. Anne Hathaway walking with a dog and a man in Brooklyn
    All I remember are her skinny skinny legs.
  6. Jude Law walking with his 15 children and an older man I assumed was his father
    Okay it was more like 3 kids or something, I don't remember.. What I do remember was his face. His beautiful beautiful face. I've never found him attractive till I saw him in real life and then I was floored. I see why all nannies want to sleep with him
  7. Aziz Ansari walking in Park Slope
    Wearing headphones and what appeared to be way too many layers for a hot summers day. But famous people don't sweat.
  8. Jim Gaffigan and his whole circus family sitting behind me on a flight to Las Vegas
    He kept asking the flight attendants for extra snacks. Also, his wife is hilarious.
  9. John Hodgman walking and talking to a friend
    No lie: the most starstruck I've ever been. This made me positively giddy.
  10. James Franco riding the subway and reading the paper
    But then he put down the paper and started talking and smiling to himself... But not gonna lie, I've pulled that kind of crazy on the subway myself a few times
  11. Mike Myers being shockingly normal in Soho
    He was wearing a sweater and holding a cellphone that I think was a flip phone. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his normalness
  12. Tig Nataro riding the subway
    I couldn't stop starring at her and I think she noticed, but professor blastoff was my favorite podcast so I was a bit in shock
  13. Steve Buscemi being all over my neighborhood
    Waiting in line for coffee, going into the bank, walking down the street... I've seen him do it all. One time we made eye contact, I'm pretty sure we're like bffs