Questions I Wish My Dog Could Answer

Her name is Gertie. She's a mix between a sheepdog and a poodle and she weighs 45 pounds.
  1. Do you love your frisbee more than me?
  2. Does eating the same food every day get boring? Do you care?
  3. What do you dream about when you move your paws in your sleep?
  4. How come you like to sit on the back of couches like a cat?
  5. Why do you always pretend to be excited about riding in the car, but then when we drive you look miserable and hold my hand?
  6. Why did you eat that quiche that one time when you knew it wasn't for you?
  7. Why do you bring me socks every time I walk in the door?
  8. Why do you like to share people's chairs when they sit at the kitchen table?
  9. Why are you afraid of trash bags?
  10. Why are you selective as to what people you will snuggle with and what people you are afraid of?
  11. How have you so expertly trained me to know exactly what you want depending on the look you give me?