IDENTIFIERS RE: WHETHER I'M HAVING AN UNPINNABLE SUNDAY

  1. Told my sisters I wanted a "breast reducto" in our group chat
  2. YouTube consumption: "How to shave a cat;" "How to sedate a cat for shaving"
  3. Talked about fourth grade with a cashier at the bakery
  4. Asked my boyfriend if my bangs looked like a moustache
  5. Experienced heart-focused fallout of seeing Morrissey last night
  6. Surface of my nightstand: desiccated carbon monoxide detector, someone else's prescription pill bottle from Yale Health filled with tiny beads all bearing the letter "L," arcade-token credit card, fake nails, perfume in "tomato" and "thunderstorm" scents, one penny (1964).
  7. Didn't even listen to "My Way" or They Might Be Giants one time
  8. Refused to work on my book, zut the heck alors!!!