I STILL GOT IT

sometimes I feel like I have no game with the male species, then I reflect upon these moments
  1. I have had several men I only know through friends of friends and/or social media tell me that they have a crush on me
    this is mad impressive because I say some weird crap on the internet, yo
  2. once had a middle aged dude buy my friends and I bottle service and APPETIZERS because I "have a nice smile"
    homeboy didn't even try to get with me, he just bought us POTATO SKINS AND BUFFALO CHICKEN DIP AND FRIES oh and liquor. so like he's right up my alley for the food and no attempt to ask me to go home w him, so not totally creepy
  3. once sang along to "scrubs" at the bar to a guy because he was being a real creep and he still tried to get me to dance with him
    like I was literally TLCing him and he still was like "come on baby come dance with me" and I was "lol think about the song I just sang at u and don't call me baby and no I won't dance with u and ur gross." this say more about the creepiness of the dude than my star appeal but still
  4. a guy asked me on a date because I said I love Donovan McNabb
    thanks childhood obsession with sports illustrated for kids!
  5. suuuuuuper attractive man in my building went out with some of my friends when I was out of town and asked them about me
    like he's BEAUTIFUL but also dumb and not about equality and so awkward but stilllllll, sometimes it IS about looks, amirite?
  6. MY CROWNING GLORY: a guy asked me for my number and I totally realized when I got home that I had puke down the front of my shirt
    I also definitely had puke breath and he was so cute with a beard and boss hair and he works for Lagunitas which means free beer and I didn't give him my number because sometimes I like the idea of being "the one that got away" sue me. but actually, sue me because I could have gotten free beer