If only I were making this up.
  1. Everyone knows how to use a computer. Even your English-major roommate knows how to use a computer.
    Well, then.
  2. Let the darkness fall.
    When he dimmed the lights and lowered the projector. He did it a couple of times, too. No one laughed in any of them.
  3. This is not a weed-out class but, after taking it, many people decide they'll be Art majors instead.
    That is the definition of a weed-out class, and I bet you can only draw stick figures.
  4. You know when you go to Wegman's and there are beggars - well, they don't have those anymore....
  5. Take a minute while I refresh my board.
    Meanwhile, may I refresh my drink?
  6. This is like in the Matrix when that guy - what was his name? [Huge tangent no one follows] Anyway, the brothers had data structures in mind when they wrote the Matrix. This scene in particular, not the entire movie. So these are the garbage collectors.
    At this point, my friend who is sitting a few rows back texts me "Lol what the fuck" and I start giggling so much, I have to leave the class, go outside and laugh like a maniac.
  7. Imagine you're in a desert island with, um, your partner and *without* the math library.
  8. Recursion is like a sock puppet of a rabbit chasing its own tail.
  9. Let me darken this a little. I don't like the dark, it's scary.
  10. Did the guitar evolve?
  11. C is for cool.
  12. You respect your ancestor and treat your children like garbage. Maybe you respect your children, I don't know.