u prolly had to be there / i drank too much coffee
  1. @ dinner table: *realizes he forgot to get water* *in Cockney accent*
  2. *watches me pick a pen up with my toes*
    "Very good, I'm impressed"
  3. On TV we saw something about a truck that was carrying chicken (already dead & raw I think, I can't remember) cross country getting in a wreck and catching on fire
    "Fried chicken!"
  4. me: *talks about changing my major ten times*
    "College seems so fun now!"
  5. Grandpa, what did you guys used to do when you were kids?
    "Go to the corn field and have corn fights."
  6. Great aunt: Yall didn't play jacks?
    "We used peach pits!"
  7. A baby died in surgery on Grey's Anatomy
    *looks up from book* "The baby done croaked too???"
  8. [watching Scandal] Grandma: they're gonna have to kill Olivia's dad!
    "Get Jake to do it! That boy can kill anybody"