1. marxist
    I had more fun when I dated the closeted Zionist libertarian
  2. Cat person
    Oh you have two? AND they both have punny dictator's names? Yes I'd love to see pics, let's sit in silence while your Instagram loads
  3. 30 y/o self-styled Holden Caulfield
    please god
  4. Whiskey connoisseur
    Not a substitute for a personality
  5. vocal interest in overrated hypermasculine literature
    If you absolutely must like hemingway or bukowski or beat poetry, you recognize the shame inherent and never mention it
  6. militant atheist
    I deleted all the Sam Harris TED talks on your phone and then smashed your phone, we're breaking up Bye