Requested by Z

Good Excuses for Not Living in LA Rn

  1. You have to wear those white hazmat suits to protect against Alpha Rays
  2. Fitness-conscious people are allowed to roam outdoors year round
  3. 60% chance you'll be killed in a cult massacre in your Hollywood Hills home
  4. Weed is too easy to get
  5. Nobody appreciates a faux-intellectual hyperneurotic self-absorbed semitic sensibility
  6. Noir lighting is unflattering on me
  7. The corruption in Chinatown
  8. tbh I thought L.A. was destroyed in that Seth Rogen movie last year
  9. Earthquakes
  10. Are tidal waves a thing? idk
  11. I can't drive.