48 U.S. VICE PRESIDENTS: VILLAIN, DWEEB OR RIGHTEOUS DUDE?

One man's (barely) informed opinion.
  1. 1.
    John Adams
    Dweeb
  2. 2.
    Thomas Jefferson
    Righteous Dude
  3. 3.
    Aaron Burr
    Dweeb
  4. 4.
    George Clinton
    Dweeb.
  5. 5.
    Elbridge Gerry
    Villain. Heard of 'gerrymandering'? Died in office. Villain.
  6. 6.
    Daniel Tompkins
    Dweeb. Drunk dweeb at that.
  7. 7.
    John C Calhoun
    Villain. Resigned as VP to be a Senator, leading advocate of states' rights. Anonymously published doctrine of nullification. Villain.
  8. 8.
    Martin Van Buren
    Dweeb. And a dandy. And later, a president. Some argue The Van Buren Boys Gang from the Seinfeld show qualifies Marty for Righteous Dude status. I disagree. A dandy, and a dweeb.
  9. 9.
    Richard M Johnson
    Villain. Allegedly killed Chief Tecumseh as a 'hero' of the War of 1812.
  10. 10.
    John Tyler
    Dweeb. 'His Accidency' was first Veep to become chief executive via a president's death in office: Harrison's (from pneumonia 30 days after giving his inaugural address in the cold without a coat or hat).
  11. 11.
    George M Dallas
    Righteous dude. Was a second choice to be veep when Silas Wright turned down the job. City in Texas is also named for him.
  12. 12.
    Millard Filmore
    Dweeb. Mitigating factor: Looks a bit like Alec Baldwin.
  13. 13.
    William King
    Dweeb. Contracted tuberculosis and fled to Cuba, where he was when elected veep. Special law was passed to let him take oath of office outside the US. Promptly died one month later leaving US without a Vice President for most of Pierce's term. No one noticed.
  14. 14.
    John C Breckenridge
    Villain. Youngest veep at 36; lost presidency to Lincoln in 1860: became Kentucky Senator and then Confederate general; claimed he had resigned when indicted for treason; fled to Cuba after Civil War to avoid prosecution.
  15. 15.
    Hannibal Hamlin
    Righteous Dude
  16. 16.
    Andrew Johnson
    Dweeb. Impeached, drunk dweeb. Became lame ass president when Lincoln was murdered.
  17. 17.
    Schuyler Colfax
    Dweeb. Known for joining organizations. Denver's Colfax Avenue is named for him.
  18. 18.
    Henry Wilson
    Anti-slavery Righteous Dude. Died in office, leaving vice presidency unfilled for 18 months. No one noticed.
  19. 19.
    William A Wheeler
    Dweeb. I mean, look at him. That Munchkin hair? Dweeb.
  20. 20.
    Chester Arthur
    Righteous Dude. Became president when Garfield was murdered.
  21. 21.
    Thomas A Hendricks
    Dweeb. Died in office, leaving veep chair empty. Again, nation did not notice.
  22. 22.
    Levi Morton
    Righteous Dude. Known for the lavish parties he threw when he was ambassador to France. Later became governor of New York.
  23. 23.
    Adlai E Stevenson
    Dweeb
  24. 24.
    Garret Hobart
    Unlucky dweeb. Died in office. Seat left empty for one year; no one noticed.
  25. 25.
    Theodore Roosevelt
    Righteous Dude.
  26. 26.
    Charles W Fairbanks
    Dweeb
  27. 27.
    James S Sherman
    Dweeb. Served one term under Wilson then died a week before reelection.
  28. 28.
    Thomas R Marshall
    Righteous Dude. "What this country needs is a good five cent cigar," said he. Time magazine said "he has the humility the vice presidency requires "
  29. 29.
    Calvin Coolidge
    Dweeb. 'Silent Cal' became president when Harding died in office. When hearing Silent Cal had died, Dorothy Parker was to have said, "How can you tell?"
  30. 30.
    Charles G Dawes
    Righteous Dude. Only VP to win Nobel Peace Prize and write a song (It's All In The Game) that topped the Billboard Charts and has been covered by people like Cliff Richard, Isaac Hayes, Van Morrison, Barry Manilow and Elton John. Plus: Veep! 1958 Tommy Edwards version: http://youtu.be/Gtizr2G_7Bk
  31. 31.
    Charles Curtis
    Righteous Dude. His mother was Native American making him the first person without only European ancestry to hold one of the two highest offices in the land.
  32. 32.
    John Garner
    Dweeb. Texan who famously said the Vice Presidency was "not worth a bucket of warm piss."
  33. 33.
    Henry A Wallace
    Dweeb
  34. 34.
    Harry S Truman
    Sorting Hat has trouble with his one. Haberdasher. Product of the KC political machines. Served only 82 days as veep when FDR died, making Harry president. Country did not notice he had no VP for nearly four years. Dropped nukes on Japan, shortening WWII. 'Buck stops here.' 75% Dweeb, 20% Righteous Dude, 5% Villain.
  35. 35.
    Alben Barkley
    Dweeb. Oldest man elected Vice President.
  36. 36.
    Richard M Nixon
    Villain, both as VP and later as President.
  37. 37.
    Lyndon B Johnson
    Dweeb
  38. 38.
    Hubert H Humphrey
    Dweeb
  39. 39.
    Spiro Agnew
    Crook. Felon. Villain. Only VP to resign due to criminal charges.
  40. 40.
    Gerald R Ford
    Dweeb. Only man to serve as VP and president without being elected to either office.
  41. 41.
    Nelson Rockefeller
    Rich dweeb. Appointed to office, not elected.
  42. 42.
    Walter Mondale
    Dweeb
  43. 43.
    George HW Bush
    Righteous Dude. At 18 youngest US Navy aviator in WWII. Self made millionaire by age 40. Spy and head of the CIA. Last VP to run and be elected president. Octogenarian parachutist. Medal of Freedom winner. Righteous Dude.
  44. 44.
    J Danforth Quayle
    Super mega dweeb. Potatoe-spelling golfing dweeb.
  45. 45.
    Al Gore
    Nerdy Righteous Dude
  46. 46.
    Richard B Cheney
    Evil Villain.
  47. 47.
    Joe Biden
    Righteous Dude.
  48. 48.
    Mike Pence
    Calling it: Villain