Jobs I Would Probably Excel At
- •Hairdresser for people who want zero chitchat beyond "what can I do for you?"
- •Medical professional who will not judge you when you come in with a brain tumor (headache) because you're right, you probably are dying.
- •Financial advisor who will advise you to treat yo' self.
- •Netflix prompt writer. Not "Are You Still Watching Gilmore Girls?" Of course you're still watching Gilmore Girls!
- •Fashion designer who designs everything with maternity waistbands...yoga pants are constricting AF after you've had the pleasure of wearing maternity pants.
- •Mechanic who will write you a slip to give your spouse, 'Car is a goner. Buy a new one.'
- •Lawyer who will get so mad arguing your case that I start crying hysterically and make everyone super uncomfortable so the judge rules in your favor.