SOME ACCOMPLISHMENTS FOR MY RESUME

  1. Britney Spears follows me on Twitter.
  2. I won a contest to name a salon...Mane Tamers.
  3. I was stopped while walking around the mall once and interviewed for the newspaper about Mad Cow Disease.
  4. My mom says Jerry Reed is (was) my 2nd cousin.
  5. I won Prettiest in a Halloween contest when I was 2 and dressed up as a ladybug.
  6. I was offered an extra role on Gone Girl.
    I turned it down when I got there and saw the skimpy bikini they expected me to wear. I saved David Fincher the trouble of firing me when he saw me in said bikini. I have 2 children and an on-going love affair with Costco chocolate chip cookies. No one needed to see me in a bikini that small.
  7. I can still rap all the words to 'Only God Can Judge Me.'
  8. I trended on List App.
  9. @mrbobbybones read my tweet live on the air once.
  10. I entered a blackjack tournament at a casino once (before I knew how to play) because I needed rent money. I won. 💁🏼