Drunk Food, Ranked

  1. 1.
    Doner Kebab
    Turkish wrap with mystery meat, veggies, and magical red and white sauce. Apologies, I'm biased and putting this at the top because I've been craving them so badly ever since becoming addicted to these tasty lil wraps when visiting in Berlin, and there's no good place to get them in SF.
  2. 2.
    Chicken nuggets
    Easily microwaveable and so delicious. Bite size pieces so you don't need to operate utensils.
  3. 3.
    Cheesy sticks
    All the best aspects of pizza (carbs and cheese), plus ranch dressing, and in easily manageable strips.
  4. 4.
    Pizza
    Melted cheese instantly makes it good drunk food.
  5. 5.
    Super burrito
    So many delicious ingredients at once in an easy to consume wrap--tons of creamy fat items (melted cheese, sour cream, avocado), grilled meat, and the requisite carbs. The salsa can make it sloppy though, so it's hard to eat in bed.
  6. 6.
    Instant noodles
    Downside is that you have to wait for the water to boil, but upside is that you can add an egg and sriracha and make it baller. Another downside is that it's messy to eat so eating in bed is difficult.
  7. 7.
    Tacos
    Burritos minus the carbs in tiny form. Also messier than a burrito because there tortilla ends aren't folded in.
  8. 8.
    Nachos
    Essentially deconstructed burritos minus the rice and substituting soft tortillas with crispy chips. I prefer burritos because you always get a perfect bite.