@stephen Personally one of my favorite tweeters and too good not to share
  1. "Somebody told me that I was easily offended, which how dare they, that really pisses me off."
  2. "I never thought I'd want to have a beard, but it grew on me."
  3. ""You wrote me?!" - Allie talking to author Nicholas Sparks"
  4. ""Any chance I could get like a metric crap-ton of ketchup?" me to in n out employee just now"
  5. "Wtf is this. I specifically asked for "a ton of ketchup"... This is at most 5 pounds."
  6. "Just went to my first soccer game and we scored 5 times? #LAgalaxy"
  7. "I could have been a moderately successful magician by now but my parents said no."
  8. "yo let's go sniff bodywashes at the local Ralphs"
  9. "If you end every cynical comment with "or whatever" it's way harder to accidentally offend people who have no sense of humor or whatever"