THINGS I'D LIKE TO COMMUNICATE TO MY DOG

Wacha is a rescue. You can follow him on Instagram @therealwacha
  1. I love you and always will. And I will never hurt you.
  2. Are you happy with your food? Do you want me to switch it up or do you like the consistency?
  3. If there was a way to figure out how to spoon with me that would be wonderful.
  4. Why exactly did you bite Rick Springfield? And am I to assume you thought Anderson was going to take your bone and that's why you bit him? Can you stop?
  5. Could you be a little more chill with my gentlemen callers? They serve a purpose that you don't.
  6. Now that it's getting cold I would love if you would start crapping on the terrace.
  7. You're my little JonBenet! (Without the tragic ending). So when I tell you to pose pretty it's because I'm trying to get you a Purina deal which will only enrich your life. So smile pretty, boy.