THINGS I SAW AT THE GRATEFUL DEAD CONCERTS THIS WEEKEND

  1. Nancy Pelosi in a tunic
  2. Daughter furiously Yo-Yoing to the music while parents proudly watched
  3. A real, honest to God rainbow that may or may not have been Jerry himself
  4. Potpotpotpotpotpotpotjointsjointsjointsjointsjoints
  5. Some hot-ass shirtless hippy dudes with great hair and natural bodies who didn't know that I was perving on them behind my aviators
  6. Santa Clara Cops, two of whom invited me to their homes for a "warm meal"
  7. Dibs during Space
  8. Lady screaming having a very bad trip who turned out to be a man
  9. Hands in the air, and balloons and beach balls (which John Mayer maintains don't work at night)
  10. Turkey sandwiches and diet 7-up & tequila, prepared by me
  11. Trixie Garcia!
  12. Real Housewives of the Dead
  13. Smiling, happy, dancing people