FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF MAD MAX

Just some thoughts I had after last nights viewing of the newest installment to the George Miller franchise. Btw it's fantastic.
  1. We need to start conserving more.
    This is old news, but seeing Mad Max made me think how nice it would be to avoid the dystopian future. If we could all just reduce our dependence on petroleum and limit our wasteful water practices, maybe we won't have to be reduced to primal rape tribes.
  2. Max isn't really that mad.
    He's actually pretty level headed. I don't even think he yells once. Maybe they mean mad in the British sense? If that's the case, he's mad as fuck.
  3. The dystopian future isn't that horny.
    I know what you're thinking, the future is going to be all steampunk and sexy babes. Turns out we'll all be pretty malnourished and sick, and hooking up won't be that high on the list, considering how many goiters there are.
  4. Tom Hardy: what a dream boat?!
    He can drive my car if you know what I mean…
  5. We should all learn some other skills.
    There's almost no writing, acting, or comedy in the future. It's all violence and death, but mechanics seem to be important, as well as welders. Maybe some alternatives agricultural type of shit?
  6. Moisturize!
    We're saying it now, we're gonna wish we said it a lot more in the future. Moisturize! And not just after you wash your face. Make it a practice. And remember to use SPFs. Not that soft skin will go very far, but if you are supple, you might get to be a sex slave and not an insane murderer slave.
  7. At least we'll be able to wear whatever.
    The one nice thing about the future is fashion mean jack shit. You really wear whatever you can find, even pieces of tires and metal are a-ok. So if you're like me and can't leave the house without trying on a few outfits, don't worry. We won't even have more than one outfit. Also, we'll all be skinny, so we show can show off our very sick (literally ill) abs.
  8. Seeds.
    Veges are hard to grow in the desert, and the whole world is basically a desert after the fall of man. If you're anything like me, and love a nice macerated Tuscan kale salad with parmesan and grapefruit, hoard some seeds. When you find an oasis or compound secure enough to post up, you can grow said veges. Otherwise, it's all lizards, bugs, or the decaying corpses you encounter crossing the wastelands.
  9. There's no dogs.
    I love dogs just as much as you guys, but I'm sorry, pets are for a world where we have the abundance to afford them. Companionship will be limited and dogs will essentially become as valued as wagyu beef. The nice thing is, if you're a warlord, you can have human pets, which is like a dog, but they do human stuff too. They tend to crouch a lot. Anyways, this goes for cats too.
  10. Live it up while you can.
    All of the things we like are gone. It's basically just survival, and joy comes from murdering a fellow scavenger or finding a pretty bottle. Also, there's no drugs, no booze, no antidepressants, no yoga, no remixes, no tinder, and definitely no pornhub. So be grateful for what you have, and live life to the fullest. Cause if you are so unlucky enough to survive the fall of man, it's not chill at all.
  11. all trucks should be led by hyped up guitarists
    Suggested by   @danielle