NAMES I'VE NEVER MATCHED W/ ON TINDER
I'm bad at love, I'm worse at Tinder.
- •KacieAlways can match a Casey, but that K is a whole other ballpark.
- •KelseyMaybe Kelsey Grammar, but in telling you, the Ks don't fix with me.
- •BlairShe went to Ivy Leagues, she's beautiful, she loves her family, but not me.
- •JojoShe lives by the beach, she's a free spirit, we've never met.
- •SmokeyChola bartender from Highland Park. She has three children, pero todavia no.
- •ImaniBeautiful, but I should know better. She used to date Childish Gambino.
- •Suga-TDropped a famous verse on E-40's Sprinkle Me, dropped nothing on me.
- •NoorPersian princess. I imagine going to Hookah bars in Westwood with her. We don't.
- •OliviaThis is a girl from my AA meeting. I've deleted my account and reopened it because I accidentally swiped left. Found her, we didn't match.
- •GrunkLives in the LA river, has a pet badger. She once pushed me off my bike for making eye-contact. I have no idea where she charges her phone.