THINGS I'VE OVERHEARD IN SEATTLE THIS WEEK

I came home to visit my new niece, and also do shows.
  1. Mom has serious denial about her role as an abuser.
    Said by my sister in regards to our mother suggesting we go out for dinner.
  2. That coffeeshop's run by that creepy church.
    Said about a chain of coffeeshops called Storyville, that are ran by the Mars Hills Church, famous for their now former pastor, Marc Driscoll. Never trust a Marc with a C.
  3. I always try to be mindful of people's disabilities.
    Said by a woman at a BBQ that was offering gluten free waffles. It's was 85 degrees outside.
  4. Fuck the police.
    Said by a white male doing stand up in the backyard of a house in an all white neighborhood. He then made a racist joke.
  5. Do they allow dogs in that comedy club?
    Asked to me by a friend that wanted to bring her dog to my show.
  6. It's almost impossible to be middle class here.
    Said by my friend that has been traveling the world as a kayak instructor for the past ten years.
  7. You're never supposed to let a baby cry.
    Also my sister.
  8. Harley is aggressive with other dogs.
    Said about my family dog after I agreed to take him for a walk.
  9. I like taking the bus.
    Said by my friend who has a car.
  10. I ride my bike everywhere.
    Said my another friend who also has a car.
  11. We turn the wifi off at night for the baby.