THINGS I WANT TO DO WITH A BABY…

  1. Introduce it to a body of water for the first time/ie go swimming.
  2. Dress up like Master Blaster and let it call the shots.
  3. Bring it to the store in a canvas bag, and when I check out act surprised when I go to find my wallet and there's a baby. Nice one baby.
  4. Dance like nobody's watching
  5. Ask a pretty woman if she dropped this (The baby).
  6. Watch Look Who's Talking/Too to see if the baby knows what's going on.
  7. Leave it in a nativity scene and see what happens.
  8. Dress it up in a suit and leave it in an office. Hold interviews for "assistant baby."
  9. Bring it to the post office in a box and tell them I think it was a wrong address.
  10. Ask people to hold it and then run away.