1. Soul Cycle birthday parties.
  2. Tiaras, sashes, crowns.
    For any fucking purpose whatsoever.
  3. Splitting the check based on who ordered what.
  4. Selfie sticks.
  5. Human names for pets.
    Exceptions: Funny old man names (ex: Alan) and names of icons or legends (ex: my late fish, Eddie Vedder)
  6. Pet names for humans.
    Surely no man actually wants to spend his entire existence as "Bear."
  7. Parents claiming that their child is the next Einstein, Picasso, etc.
    All about supporting young creative minds but seriously, enough.
  8. Pictures of food.