Let's be honest, the only silver lining here is one's inability to eat/eventual weight loss post-split. Then a week goes by & you're watching The Notebook and stuffing your face with ice cream again.
  1. The Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Diet.
    For the first time dumpee. This is a rookie move but at least you've got options. Chubby Hubby, Half Baked...do they still make the Dave Matthews flavor?
  2. The Frozen Yogurt Diet.
    For people who break up in Los Angeles.
  3. The Raw Cookie Dough Diet.
    You've been through this before, haven't you?
  4. The Soy Latte Diet.
    I lived on two of these a day for a solid week the first time I got my heart broken. Lost ten pounds which was kinda cool!
  5. The Booze Diet.
    My friends would take me out day drinking so that I'd get tipsy enough that I'd have no other option but to eat. This is actually less funny in retrospect.
  6. BUT seriously.
    Go to the gym, drink a smoothie or something, get your people, and go out dancing you sad sack.