1. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
  2. It is what it is.
  3. What you allow is what will continue, what you permit you promote, put up with it and get more of it, and variations of that phrase.
  4. You only regret the chances you don't take.
  5. Keep it simple, stupid. Great advice. Hurts my feelings every time.
  6. Change your face.
  7. Dedicated is another word for crazy.
  8. My secret is, even though I wish I could be thin, and that I could have the ease of lifestyle that I associate with being thin, I don't wish for it with all of my heart. Because my heart is reserved for way more important things.
  9. Work hard. Know your shit. Show your shit. And then feel entitled. Listen to no one except the two smartest and kindest adults you know. And that doesn't always mean your parents.
  10. The sooner you quit something that stinks the sooner you can find something that doesn't.
  11. Sometimes you have to make the hardest climb to see the most beautiful sunrise. I read that once on an old lady's decorative pillow, but it really is how I feel today.
  12. Grief does not change you. It reveals you.
  13. Sometimes I like to feel like I'm rich when I'm really not.
  14. I love quitting. When I was a kid and things didn't go my way I would just take my ball and go home. That's better than winning 'cause then your friends can't play anymore.
  15. Bribes and boy bands. That is all you need to know to be a good babysitter.
  16. Dress for the job you have no business doing.
  17. But I have learned that you make your own happiness, that part of going for what you want means losing something else, and when the stakes are high the losses can be that much greater.
  18. Time is money. Money is power. Power is pizza. Pizza is knowledge.
  19. There has never been a sadness that can't be cured by breakfast food.
  20. Mothers and fathers pour everything they are into us. And they stand us on our own. And they understand that we don't fully grow up until some day we lose them. There are some lessons that only grief and responsibility can teach us.
  21. It's not brave to do something that doesn't scare you.
  22. Family first. Work second. Revenge third.
  23. Self-care is for rich people.
  24. I like to listen to the finer things in life. The Pink Panther. When it's playing I hear it.