THINGS I TELL MYSELF I'M GOING TO DO AND THEN I LOOK AT MY PHONE INSTEAD

  1. Read a book in the bath
  2. Paint my nails
    They're bad
  3. Watch The Sopranos
    Tony isn't happy with my choice
  4. Write a pitch
    Angela if you want to have a career you should seriously reconsider this
  5. Read a book in the park
    I'm the worst kind of millennial
  6. Find a therapist
    This is a running theme
  7. Yoga
    My FOMO isn't helping me find inner peace :(
  8. Concentrate on not itching my mosquito bites
    New York mosquitos are real assholes
  9. At least I don't drive, y'all.