Cheesiest Lounge Acts I've Been Coerced into Seeing

What happens in Vegas, goes on li.st.
  1. Rich Little, Stand Up Comedian/Impersonator
    MGM Grand Las Vegas, NV- 60 year old performing for 80 year olds while 50 year olds wished they'd have just watched the free band in the bar. Down the hatch, suckers. 🥃
  2. Loretta Lynn, Singer-Songwriter/Coal Miners Daughter
    Lake Tahoe, NV Don't even ask why or how I got talked into going to this show. Everyone in the band was either a son, a brother or a cousin. Loretta's dresses (multiple gown changes, each one more ridiculous than the last) Scarlett O'Hara would have turned green with envy. Sweet lady, not the best singer ever. 🙁
  3. Wayne Newton, Singer/Bad Actor Plastic Surgery Fail
    Harrah's, Reno, NV. The cheesiest of them all, King of the Cheese song, 'Danke Schoen'. For decades, his voice accompanying a two drink minimum, two shows a night, five days a week. Best known for Ferris Bueller's day off Lip Sync song choice and Mrs. Griswold's fling in Vegas Vacation movie.
  4. Juice Newton, Singer/No Relation to Wayne
    Humboldt County Fair. Clearly we only get the BIG acts up here. She was popular once (Queen of Hearts, 1981) but when we saw her, not so much. Pretty sure I was drunk cause I only have a ticket stub telling me I was there.
  5. Paul Revere & the Raiders with topless dancers 💃🏼
    Reno, NV. Five guys WAY too old to be rocking out in revolutionary war costumes, singing songs nobody remembers-badly. Inexplicably accompanied by topless Betsy Ross, Martha Washington and Dolly Madison's. Mayflower madams, if you will. 😂
  6. The Playboy Revue
    Lake Tahoe, NV. A not too terrible Sinatra impersonator, vaudeville style comedy, a bevy of bulbous beauties culminating with a naked women getting busy on a Harley Davidson. All that was missing was a snake.
  7. American Legends Revue
    Las Vegas, NV Maybe the Sands or the Flamingo or the Golden Nugget. Super low budget. You got your Madonna, your Liza, your Christina. Michael Jackson 'hee hee', Elton John and Britney, bitches. Here's the worst part. My friend wanted to GET THEIR AUTOGRAPHS. 🤦‍♀️
  8. Rod Stewart, Impersonator/Dirty Old Man
    San Joaquin County Fair, Stockton, CA. This show wasn't even in a building. Folding chairs on grass. The shortest Rod Stewart ever-so if he hadn't had on cheetah leggings and a spiky wig, it wouldn't have worked. But really, it didn't work period. 😱
  9. Near miss, thankfully.
    Kenny G. (Vegas) Tom won $250 and yelled, We're going to Kenny G, who was playing that night at our hotel. He ran to the ticket counter, got two tickets then buyers remorse set in. He's like, I don't even WANT to see Kenny G!! So we milled around the ticket area and sold them to two older ladies who were ecstatic!! Close call Tom. 🎷
  10. The good ones? There were a few.
    Cirque de Solie 'Love', Earth, Wind & Fire and Beatlemania 👍🏼 Thanks for coming out and don't forget to tip your servers!