Inspired by @gagneet
  1. Buys fancy Lancôme foundation/still loves Maybelline Great Lash mascara
  2. Closet full of gorgeous shoes/prefers to go barefoot
    But not barefoot & pregnant no no no
  3. Has a 401k/withdraws from it for Disneyland trips
    This is true. I went 5 times last year. Don't judge.
  4. Secure enough to speak my mind/still afraid I'm gonna get in trouble
    Not often but it happens.
  5. Reads everything by Michael Chabon/likes coloring books & crayons
    But I will not be reading Infinite Jest anytime soon 😶
  6. Responsibly rescues cats from the shelter/makes a tent for them with a blanket
    And I get under it with them.
  7. Makes bed everyday/shoves PJ's under pillow
  8. Chateaubriand Bearnaise & Chateau Potatoes/Lipton Chicken Noodle soup
  9. Makes love just like a woman/breaks just like a little girl
    There, there now. Look, fireworks!