Calling it retro or vintage, doesn't change the fact the room still smells funny.
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    Take a moment to observe & appreciate the antique furnishings in your room.
    Your grandparents could have enjoyed a highball & a game of gin rummy in this very room πŸΈπŸš¬πŸƒ
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    Don't freak out at little things in your room.
    One tiny ant 🐜. "It's just one ant" was my response when my husband suggested we change rooms. Then says, "Yeah, until he tells all his friends" πŸ€” (it was fine)
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    Inspect your room for any problems BEFORE turning in for the night.
    The TV is broken, the remote is missing or the toilet leaks. Guess which one happened to us? 🚽 πŸ’©
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    Expect a backache from the vintage bed the next morning.
    George Washington probably slept here. In this exact bed. Different sheets we hope. πŸ™„
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    No talking at the free breakfast. 😢
    Reminiscent of a funeral wake. Everyone shuffles around, mute and avoiding eye contact. Secret shame.
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    Make a waffle, then forget about it.
    In about 3 minutes the beeping starts. No one claims it. See waffle burn.
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    Bring earplugs and a sleep mask.
    Headlights in the window. Freeway noise. There will be parties outside your room. Parties next door and people coming back from parties. Then the headboard symphony for about 10 minutes. 😏
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    Make sure your motel is close to a McDonald's.
    When that free breakfast just isn't cutting it. McD's now serves breakfast all day. Thank you Lord 😎
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    And finally: Get the hell out of there.