My Kitchen Mishaps Make Gordon Ramsay Scream

Inspired by @brazenhussy
  1. Trying to cut onions like a chef
    I cut onions like a child. One day a NY Times cooking video showed up in my email-watched it, tried it. Yep, cut myself. Classic how-to video fail. Gordon is not happy with me.
  2. Moved the facet out of the way, turned on the water, flooding the counter.
    And soaking the pie crust I was making 😡 Gordon calls me names.
  3. Whipped cream charger explosion
    All over everything. It's been two years and I just noticed a glob near the light fixture. Gordon says, My God woman, clean that shit up!
  4. Frying bacon in a hair spray covered robe. 🔥
    Making breakfast in the same robe worn while getting ready for work. (Yes, I do wash it frequently but not everyday) Who knew the fire from 8 inches away would jump on my sleeve and travel up my arm? A very close call 😱 Gordon says, Welcome to HELL.
  5. Exploding pressure cooker
    Apparently cooking barley is NOT recommended for pressure cookers. It clogs the pressure vent. Oops. Ceiling, walls and floor. Worst mess EVER. Gordon loses it.
  6. Trying a new pastry recipe on Thanksgiving with 8 guests arriving in an hour
    Instead of Pioneer Woman's pie crust (tried & true), I decided to get fancy and use all butter. BIG mistake. Bubbled all over the oven, burned and smoke billowed throughout the house. Gordon says, How stupid are you?
  7. Until the next disaster...