Rules for a Safe & Sane Fourth of July

A few safety reminders before your celebrations commence. And some patriotic thoughts to mix with your potato salad.
  1. Take time to honor your country.
  2. Keep pets indoors and away from ignited unit.
  3. Save the Cherry Bombs for the rest stop outhouse.
  4. Don't aim Roman Candles, sparklers or Piccolo Pete's at anyone.
    Not even Captain America.
  5. Don't use a handheld lighter to set off your fireworks.
    Too dangerous. 'Sister Christian' is not on the playlist for tonight either.
  6. Proclaim your patriotism
  7. Show your pride and patriotism by waving Old Glory.
  8. Keep all flammable items away from head and hair.
  9. Purchase fireworks only from authorized sellers.
  10. Watch the Bar-B-Q diligently if you have small children in the vicinity.
    Burned babyback ribs are not acceptable on or off the grill.
  11. Make sure you have plenty of food on hand for the picnic.
    Save a dog for the dog.
  12. Don't overdo it.
  13. Keep a safe distance from the staging area.
  14. Have a block party with your combined fireworks purchases.
  15. Being Born in the USA is not a requirement for inclusion on the 4th.
    Right. We're trying,
  16. No, it's Fourth of July, Michael ✨
    Come as you are
  17. We love America and will fight anyone who doesn't.
  18. Have fun but take time to reflect on the sacrifices our founding fathers made to create this great nation.
    Insert obligatory Hamilton reference here. Algorithm For Trending Lists
  19. Only grown-ups should light fireworks.
    Cause they're always the most sane & levelheaded.
  20. Don't drink alcoholic beverages when using fireworks.
    In case the flag you're wearing gets in the way
  21. Never set off fireworks inside your house.
  22. Keep your pets safe.
  23. Find a Fourth of July event that supports causes you believe in.
  24. Stand well back after firework has been lit.
  25. Exactly.