What the Plumber Said (to no one in particular) While Fixing the Sewer Line

Today
  1. Some grunting noises
    Unintelligible going under the house. 🔦
  2. What the HELL!?!
    Must have found that rotting squirrel carcass we've been waiting to decompose. ☠
  3. You've got to be KIDDING ME!!!
    No one's laughing. I haven't been able to use the sink since I got back from vacation and the dishwasher is full of brown water 😖
  4. Gawd DAMMIT.
    Always more emphasis at the end of the SENTENCE.
  5. Clink. Thud. SHIT.
  6. Oh NOOOOO. GAWDAMMIT
    Should I go out there? 😁
  7. Me: What smells like rotten eggs?
    He: Who ever did your remodel did a shitty job. (I'm sorry-do you want his name so you can go beat him up or something?) 🔩
  8. Sawing noises. Thud. Boom. DAMMIT
    He left his flashlight under the house. Not sure why I feel responsible. Oh, good he found it.
  9. Done. He's all smiles now. 💳💵💰
    He said not to put anything away until we're sure it doesn't leak. 💦