Talk-how much? Hint-usually very little. Smile-how big? It depends... A suggestion inspired by a Hamilton tune.
  1. On the subway
    Talk? 🤔 Smile optional depending on how secure you're feeling that day. Tell me if this sounds familiar....You smile-they make eye contact, stare at you for a microsecond then look away. I wasn't gonna to ask you for money or anything
  2. When crossing back into the US from Canada
    We must have talked too much. Pulled over, searched, questioned, ugh. 3 hours later, shut up, smile and DRIVE.
  3. Crazy guy screaming %#!?#
    No talking at all!! Be careful with the smile volume-could be misinterpreted. Is he gonna hurt me? Be cool
  4. Pulled over by Highway Patrol
    Giphy downsized medium
    Smile and only answer in very short sentences. Admit nothing. Keep smiling but not too much.
  5. Your boss calls you in 'for a little chat'
    Talk should consist of flattery, agreement, mea culpa if required. Big smiles and repeated head nods always worked for me.
  6. Who spilled the_________?
    Don't even bother with talk or smile. A sad face might get them to help you clean up. It works for my husband
  7. When the bullshitter really is rolling in the deep.
    Verbal 'Ah huh's' are all that is necessary. If you can, bring others in the group to witness. Smile really, really big but only in your head.
  8. The person who just spilled a drink on you.
    Talking isn't effective anymore (too drunk) Smile slightly and you might get a bar tab opened for the evening. Especially if you're wearing a sexy romper.
  9. Coworker who you caught eating your lunch.
    Talk works better here. "Oh crap! Last weeks lunch😁 I meant to throw that out!" Sorry.
  10. When a friend is telling a mediocre story
    Talk minimally, but occasional uh huhs and yeahs are necessary. Smile as much as possible without looking sarcastic— it's a fine line.
    Suggested by @sarahsmith4