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You know you've experienced these horrors. Everyone has.
  1. Your life flashes before your eyes as....
    Your toothbrush, your contacts, damn near anything goes careening off of the shelf in the general direction of the toilet.
  2. You irrationally fear for your asshole as.....
    You drop the soap. In your own shower. By yourself. And you've never been to prison.
  3. You imagine the horror of your naked (and out of shape) body being found by strangers when.....
    You loose your footing in the shower, even just for a second, and spend the next two minutes hyperventilating. And silently promising to go to church more. And the gym.
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