Scary Bathroom Happennings

You know you've experienced these horrors. Everyone has.
  1. Your life flashes before your eyes as....
    Your toothbrush, your contacts, damn near anything goes careening off of the shelf in the general direction of the toilet.
  2. You irrationally fear for your asshole as.....
    You drop the soap. In your own shower. By yourself. And you've never been to prison.
  3. You imagine the horror of your naked (and out of shape) body being found by strangers when.....
    You loose your footing in the shower, even just for a second, and spend the next two minutes hyperventilating. And silently promising to go to church more. And the gym.
  4. You wonder which one of your relatives will change your diapers as....
    Your post-shower ear cleaning goes one millimeter too far. Just a smidgen past delightful.
  5. There's a funny smell coming from......
    That horrifying moment when you think that you may need to visit the clinic....but really you just spilled perfume on the floor next to the toilet. Okay maybe this one just happened to me.