A Perfect Life Lesson

Or: There Is Justice in the Universe
  1. I was walking down the street last week.
  2. A guy was driving out of a parking garage while simultaneously texting. He almost hit me. I jumped out of the way.
  3. I turned around and looked at the guy, pissed. He looked up and realized what he'd done. He looked caught.
  4. I put on a big, sarcastic smile and waved at the guy. Then I pulled my phone out of my pocket and pointed at it, then gave the guy a thumb's up to shame him.
  5. He seemed to wince a little. I got a rush of total vindication and moral superiority.
  6. I turned back around to walk off in triumph, and - because I was distracted by shaming this guy for texting and driving - smacked directly into a traffic sign.
  7. I did my best to keep walking as if nothing had happened, resisting the temptation to check if the guy was laughing his ass off.