Battle List: Television vs. Books

Winner is definitive and should never, ever be argued again. Add your own pros and cons/ point values in "suggestions"; list and final score will be amended to reflect compelling arguments. Annnd go.
  1. TELEVISION: Got popular around 70 years ago.
    20 POINTS
  2. BOOKS: Got popular around 1,900 years ago.
    30 POINTS
  3. TELEVISION: Is all I, or any of you, want to do all day. Every single day. And we must fight this urge.
    40 POINTS
  4. BOOKS: Are awesome and completely engrossing and - while you're reading - all you want to do. Until you remember that television exists. Then you want to go watch TV.
    25 POINTS
  5. TELEVISION: Is nicknamed "Telly," the Boob Tube and the Idiot Box.
    10 POINTS
  6. BOOKS: Are nicknamed Gab Slabs, Page Pies, Word-Herds, The 7-Layer Sentence Dip, Tomes for the Dome and Hardcover Super-Lovers. (Really hope one or more of these catch on.)
    25 POINTS
  7. TELEVISION: Has produced several masterpieces, including "The Sopranos," "The Simpsons," "Mad Men" and whatever "quirky" choice I could throw in here to sound less cliche.
    30 POINTS
  8. BOOKS: Have produced many, many more masterpieces that you should have read in college, but the "cool professor" was offering a course entitled "Joycian Non-Logic Within Twin Peaks."
    30 POINTS
  9. TELEVISION: Inspires fun, rowdy songs like Black Flag's "TV Party"; Daft Punk's "Television Rules the Nation"; and Billy Joel's "Sleeping With the Television On." (Although ACTUALLY sleeping with the TV on increases depression. Unlike Billy Joel, who increases good times.)
    20 POINTS
  10. BOOKS: Inspire Belle & Sebastian, Vampire Weekend and Neutral Milk Hotel songs. Which, you know, is great. But if I go to your party and that's what you're playing, let's be honest - your party, uh... is something else that is just wonderful, but kinda... not a party.
    5 POINTS
  11. TELEVISION: Is a sedentary activity linked to obesity, heart disease, diabetes and Alzheimer's.
    NO POINTS
  12. BOOKS: Is a sedentary activity that - believe it or not - expends MORE energy than watching TV. Seriously, that's what I read. I don't know if it's turning pages or licking your finger to turn the page or what.
    5 POINTS
  13. TELEVISION: Is an industry where you make a shit-ton of money, and love your job, and tell everybody all the time you love your job. But if you get really quiet, you hear the tiniest voice in your head whispering, "I'm wasting my life." And the voice is played by Jon Hamm.
    30 POINTS
  14. BOOKS: Are an industry where only four people make a shit-ton of money. And when you meet someone who writes books that you love, you're excited, and then disappointed when they ask, "Can you get me a job writing for television?"
    10 POINTS
  15. TELEVISION: Brings us "Game of Thrones." Which friends have become honest-to-God angry at me for not watching. But the one time I tried, there was a tiny, blond pixie lady getting unhappily rammed from behind by a giant barbarian guy and I was like, "Nope, not for me" and changed the channel.
    10 POINTS
  16. BOOKS: Brought us "Game of Thrones." Thanks a lot, books.
    5 POINTS
  17. TELEVISION: Is the best when you have insomnia, and get up and put on something quiet and black and white, like a Twilight Zone or a Turner Classic Movie, and you feel like the world is safe and I can truthfully say, it's Better Than Heroin.
    50 POINTS
  18. BOOKS: Are no fun when you have insomnia, because they'll just put you back to sleep, and that ruins the whole point of having insomnia.
    15 POINTS
  19. TELEVISION: Is in a "Golden Age," producing shows that people describe as "novelistic," like the fantastic "Breaking Bad." But the truth is, if you ever read a novel with that level of per-chapter action/ incident, you'd be like, "This is a dumb book."
    20 POINTS
  20. BOOKS: Are in decline. Especially fiction. NOBODY is buying fiction. Which is too bad, because ACTUAL novels really can put you inside someone else's mind. Read one book by Patricia Highsmith and tell me you don't spend the next six weeks thinking like a hate-fueled 1960s lesbian.
    10 POINTS
  21. TELEVISION: Is an id explosion of anxiety, excitement and fear that has left the world in an traumatized state, believing that something like "Sons of Anarchy" is an accurate representation of "how the world works," which then enables monsters like ISIS to gain credibility and power.
    NO POINTS
  22. BOOKS: Are meditative and good for you.
    50 POINTS
  23. TELEVISION: Is freakin' television. For all its flaws, you love it, just like your parents. Especially if it basically WAS your parent. (Fred Rogers FTW!)
    50 POINTS
  24. BOOKS: Are life. God, this is a close battle. I'm genuinely scared to tally the points here.
    50 POINTS
  25. BOOKS: Can be read anywhere, as long as there is light. Do not require a plug, electricity or battery juice. (Suggested by @eatthelove)
    50 POINTS
  26. TELEVISION TOTAL: 280 POINTS
  27. BOOKS TOTAL: 325 POINTS
  28. WINNER: BOOKS
    Books are better than television. Again, this is totally definitive.
  29. NEXT BATTLE LIST: PATTY HEARST VS. KENDALL JENNER
  30. Books slow you down.
    They provide a slower paced world to escape into and it feels often to me like an Antidote for the quickness of life. And on a similar note, you can linger with and re-read great lines, without even pressing rewind.
    Suggested by   @HeatherQuinn