Conans, Ranked

  1. 1.
    CONAN THE BARBARIAN (ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VERSION)
    Without him, there would be no 1980s heavy metal music. Check out those pec indentations.
  2. 2.
    CONAN O' BRIEN
    Purveyor of several decades of solid comedy.
  3. 3.
    SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
    Created Sherlock Holmes and was the original model for Mr. Pringle.
  4. 4.
    CONAN THE BARBARIAN (ACTUAL, HONEST-TO-GOD LITERARY VERSION CREATED BY ROBERT E. HOWARD)
    I read one of these as a teenager and thought it was pretty good.
  5. 5.
    CONAN THE BARBARIAN (BLACK-AND-WHITE MAGAZINE BY MARVEL COMICS VERSION)
    Used to flip through these at the newsstand to find the nudie parts.
  6. 6.
    CONAN THE BARBARIAN (COLOR COMIC BOOK BY MARVEL VERSION)
    Boy, were these boring. If I got stuck with a Conan comic book, I was really depressed.
  7. 7.
    CONAN THE BARBARIAN (2011 "REBOOT" 3D MOVIE VERSION)
    I didn't actually see it. I'm a grown man with adult responsibilities.