Events in a Single Day of Fatherhood

  1. Got up at 6 a.m.
  2. Woke up 8-year-old daughter, then drove her to Girls On The Run event.
    Girls On The Run is a fantastic after school program that teaches girls unity and self-esteem through running. It deserves all of your support.
  3. Ran 5K with 8-year-old daughter (although mostly, we walked).
    By the way - I know there are a lot of Mindy Project employees around here. I saw the Mindy Project donation at the GOTR event, and made a permanent check mark next to your names in my heart.
  4. Drove home with 8-year-old daughter. REM's "End of the World As We Know It" came on the radio. Told daughter about dancing to that song on "Senior Skip Night" - the night that all of us seniors had a big party right before graduating high school. She said, "Well, I guess it WAS the end of the world as you knew it."
    Every time I ever hear "End of the World," I think of Senior Skip Night. Yet the obvious symbolism of that moment had never occurred to me - until my 8-year-old daughter said it. Cue me struggling to drive AND contain tears over her unfathomable sensitivity and intelligence.
  5. Cooked turkey burgers on the grill for lunch at daughter's request.
  6. Hosted playdate for daughter's best friend.
  7. Played "Top Chef" with daughter, daughter's best friend and younger daughter, where I was the Judge unveiling the secret ingredient (raisins).
    This photo is the younger daughter - who won, by the way - unveiling her creation: Bread with peanut butter, raisins, chocolate chips and sugar on top.
  8. Put together a FUCKING TRAMPOLINE, top to bottom. (With a lot of help from wife.)
  9. Ordered Greek food for daughter, daughter's best friend, younger daughter and wife.
  10. Went grocery shopping.
  11. Did lots of dishes and shit like that.
  12. As wife got kids to bed, thought about this list of events, and how it's a LOT for an ex-pornographer/ recovering standup comic to do in one day.
  13. Thought about how 90% of the Dads I know had a day every bit as eventful/ exhausting as this.
  14. Wanted to give every single one of those Dads the Don Draper group therapy hug.
    And say, "Keep that shit up. You're a fucking monster at this shit."