Last Thursday, I made a list ranking my fears for the day. @HeatherQuinn left a super-sweet comment asking how those fears are looking one week later. I love being asked, because it reminds me of a quote I heard once: "What I fear, the way I fear it, never comes to pass."
  1. Blood pressure
    I took my doctor seriously. So far, I've lost five pounds. The My Fitness app (or as I call it, My Fatness) is now the center of my life. I bore the shit out of my wife by saying things like, "These gluten-free tortillas. You'd THINK they'd be OK for me to eat, right? [DISPLAY APP ON PHONE] WELL, LOOK HOW MUCH SODIUM THEY HAVE! LOOK!" I love it, love exercising, love cooking healthy food, all of it.
  2. The big professional meeting I had
    A great meeting. We talked for an hour and a half, getting really in-depth about the project I want to do. At the end of the meeting, I could tell the dude was going to pass. Sure enough, he wrote the next day to say, "I can't do this right now, but want us to do a different project in the future." The classiest of Hollywood rejections! Now onto the next three Super Important Meetings That Could Change Everything!
  3. Random tragedy
    Doug Stanhope, the brilliant comic, has a routine about the deep, dark, secret reason we all live in fear of something terrible happening to us: Because it distracts from the fact that we live incredibly boring lives where nothing truly exciting is ever going to happen. By those standards, yeah: it's been a "boring" week, unsullied by random tragedy.
  4. Karmic retribution for every lie and misdeed I've ever committed
    This fear is always lurking in the back of my mind, and it's just shame! It's just good ol' "toxic shame." Thanks a lot, non-nurturing childhood!
  5. Fear that Marc Maron has somehow taken "my" success
    I mean, I was kind of kidding with this one. Because I've been exercising more, I've listened to a lot more WTF lately. I can't believe how good Maron has become! This week's Penelope Spheeris interview is flat-out fantastic. And I'm not just saying that because I'm having the now-standard "ugh-I'm-terrified-of-when-Maron-inevitably-joins-and-finds-this-list" panic.
  6. This is the day that everyone on ListApp has had it with me, and lets me know in witheringly sarcastic terms
    It's yet to happen! Somehow, I've encountered nothing but kind, supportive, beautiful souls. To summarize, @HeatherQuinn: Life is good!