People Who Make ME Less Likely to See a Movie

  1. My wife
    That "seriously twisted" indie movie you've all been talking about? The one that's packed with disturbing sex and/ or violence? She's not in the mood to see it tonight, and - if she's honest - probably never will be.
  2. My mother
    Mom, on the other hand, LIKES watching Breaking Bad and Sons of Anarchy and probably WOULD watch that fucked-up movie everyone's talking about, but I simply cannot with my 64-year-old mother.
  3. My kids
    They're five and nine, so it's not appropriate to watch adult movies with them. But what about "kid-appropriate" movies? Well, let me ask you this - does the movie contain any peril whatsoever? Even, say, something as mild as Curious George crossing a busy street or Elmo attempting to roller skate for the first time? Because both of my girls will erupt, "DAD DAD I DON'T LIKE THIS TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFFFFFFFFF!!!!!"
  4. Myself
    It's 10:30 pm. My kids are asleep. My wife fell asleep early. My mother's on the other side of the country. I could finally watch that movie! Or I could text a bunch of friends, read ListApp, put on an old Larry Sanders episode and watch it off and on while writing a list until I get tired and pass o