Plot Points From the Truly Bizarre Pippi Longstocking Movie, "Pippi on the Run"

There's an old Gilmore Girls episode where they watch the original "PIppi Longstocking" movie, starring Inger Nilsson as Pippi, and describe it as a surrealist masterpiece. It has NOTHING on this sequel from 1970, which I recently watched with my kids. I don't get high and watch movies anymore - but if I did, this is where I'd start.
  1. Pippi's friends, a brother and sister named Tommy and Annika, get scolded by their mother. Pissed off, they decide to run away from home. Their Mom decides that's fine, as long as Pippi accompanies them.
    This is bad parenting.
  2. Pippi, Tommy and Annika set off across the Swedish countryside on Pippi's spotted horse.
  3. They spend the night in an abandoned house with a homeless drifter named Conrad. He's the inventor of "Super-Gluer" - a bright green goop that's the strongest adhesive in the world. Pippi puts it on her shoes and dances on the ceiling.
  4. Tommy, who is a TOTAL prick, glues Conrad's beard to a windowsill for no reason whatsoever. Then Tommy just stands, points and laughs hysterically at Conrad. Pippi tries to rip Conrad loose, but the pain is too great. So she cuts his beard off instead.
    And Tommy just laughs and laughs like a psycho.
  5. The kids continue on. In a grotesque, close-up, endless scene, Pippi eats an entire fish - head to tail, bones and all.
  6. They arrive at a farm, where Pippi fights a bull.
  7. The farmer gives Pippi an old, beat-up car. She makes it fly by flapping her arms.
  8. The car crashes into the water. The kids decide to wash up. They take all their clothes off (in a scene that would definitely not be shot today). Yet ANOTHER bull wanders by and eats all of their clothes.
  9. The kids are forced to wear potato sacks. Local children make fun of them. Tommy and Annika say "fuck this shit" and decide to go home.
  10. Tommy and Annika's parents forgive them and cook them giant sausages, which the kids wolf down with entire bottles of ketchup.
  11. Pippi goes home alone, because she's a symbol of parent-less anarchy. As Tommy and Annika go to bed, they feel bad that Pippi doesn't have a family. Then they look outside and see Pippi inexplicably flying around their house on a broom.
  12. A title card appears that reads, "Fuck your rules. Fuck your family structure. Fuck the hierarchy, and fuck you. I'm Pippi Fucking Longstocking, and I'm stronger than all of you motherfuckers. The fucking End." (OK, I made that part up. But everything else is true.) I strongly recommend this movie.