This was the great idea of @samantharonson, and I'm paying homage/ ripping her off. Her version of fuck marry kill.
  1. VAMPIRA
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    Her real name was Maila Nurmi. She hosted a late-night horror movie show in Los Angeles in the 1950s. She not only inspired Elvira, but countless goth girls who imitate her look. Very little footage of Vampira remains, but what little there is shows her to be funny and self-aware. She starred in "Plan 9 From Outer Space," which blew my mind as a 7th grader. She is just so striking and beautiful and unique and everything that is dark and scary and exciting about sex.
  2. JOEY RAMONE
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    I read the great book his brother wrote about him, "I Slept With Joey Ramone." Joey started out as a glam-era art hippie, dropping acid and wearing a shower curtain like a dress. Then he turned into the glue-sniffing punk. I would be happy to do drugs with either manifestation of Joey. We would laugh hysterically about old, New York television (Little Rascals on WPIX: Commander Tom on Buffalo's Channel 7; etc.).
  3. BLACK FLAG
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    They just popped in my head at random, and I'm going with it. They were so brutal, yet "loose." Always on the verge of falling apart. Who could turn down the opportunity to play with them at their prime? Kira, Hank, Greg... all that danger, and all those moments where it truly coalesced and just crushed everything in sight... God, would that make you feel powerful or what!